Hollywood: You're Doing it Wrong


In Which Uncle Pennybags Becomes a Movie Star
November 18, 2009, 11:10 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Jumanji has to be credited for making the act of watching people play a board game look interesting and fun. Sure, most of the action and humor took place after the die was cast, but there was still that central object that propelled the story further. And though the idea seems crack, the fact that Clue became a classic film comedy is just astounding considering the source material was a piece of cardboard and some tiny pewter pieces. The plot was ingenious (yet simply followed the course of the board game’s rules), and was brought to life with some wicked humor, courtesy of Tim Curry and Madeline Kahn.

Uncle Moneybags

Who's going to play this guy? Wilford Brimley?

That being said, it does not look as if the Monopoly movie, directed by Ridley Scott (Alien, Gladiator), will be as creatively produced. This is how producer Frank Beddor describes the project:

“I created a comedic, lovable loser who lives in Manhattan and works at a real estate company and he’s not very good at his job but he’s great at playing Monopoly. And the world record for playing is 70 straight days – over 1,600 hours – and he wanted to try to convince his friends to help him break that world record. They think he is crazy. They kid him about this girl and they’re playing the game and there’s this big fight. And he’s holding a Chance card and after they’ve left he says, ‘Damn, I wanted to use that Chance card,’ and he throws it down. He falls asleep and then he wakes up in the morning and he’s holding the Chance card, and he thinks, ‘That’s odd.’

“He’s all groggy and he goes down to buy some coffee and he reaches into his pocket and all he has is Monopoly money. All this Monopoly money pours out. He’s confused and embarrassed and the girl reaches across the counter and says, ‘That’s OK.’ And she gives him change in Monopoly money. He walks outside and he’s in this very vibrant place, Monopoly City, and he’s just come out of a Chance Shop. As it goes on, he takes on the evil Parker Brothers in the game of Monolopy. He has to defeat them. It tries to incorporate all the iconic imageries — a sports car pulls up, there’s someone on a horse, someone pushing a wheelbarrow — and rich Uncle Pennybags, you’re going to see him as the maître d’ at the restaurant and he’s the buggy driver and the local eccentric and the doorman at the opera. There’s all these sight gags.”

First of all, I don’t think I ever used a Chance card when playing Monopoly. Second of all: evil Parker Brothers?! I can understand the difficulty of adapting the game for the screen, and all of this information does make sense, but it seems like the creators are trying too hard. He has to play the game of Monopoly? How long is this movie going to be? Most games of Monopoly feel never-ending, and I can only hope the production team captures the thrill of buying stocks and homes. It’s theme of monetary security is really appropriate considering the financial collapse of our country through the misuse of stock and property investments! At least Clue had personalities to fall back on, even if they were simply defined by status and color. The only character of sorts in Monopoly is Uncle Moneybags, and I don’t think they’ll let Bernie Madoff out of jail to just to play him. I doubt he looks good in a mustache, anyway.

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