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A quick word on the prospect that the fourth and final book in the Twilight series, Breaking Dawn, will be split into two movies: Stop. The Harry Potter franchise held out on doubling their money until the final book, when there was a lot of content to put on screen. From what I have read (and I have not read the books, FYI), nothing of real epic consequence occurs in the book. Here is a short summary written by obvious Potter fan Moony Padfoot Prongs:
Edward and Bella get it on. Bella gets pregnant. Baby’s killing Bella. Edward hates the baby. Baby loves Bella. Edward loves baby. Bella gives birth. Bella turns into vampire. Jacob falls in love with baby, completely losing all of his feelings for Bella. Baby is the only one of it’s kind. Alice and Jasper leave. Alice and Jasper come back. Baby is not the only one of it’s kind. Volturi and vampire covens get ready for big fight. Big fight doesn’t happen.
The end.
Riveting stuff. Plus, I understand that the copulation and birth scenes are incredibly graphic and ill-conceived, which should make for great entertainment. Now, I know that I have no right to criticize something that I have neither seen nor read, but just looking at the plot details of these stories makes me lose interest. Forgetting that these movies were once books, if any of these were released as original screenplays, the details would simply be too unbelievable and too unmarketable. An adult character falling in love with a baby? A big fight that doesn’t happen? So many opportunities to make a good Hollywood movie are completely avoided in Breaking Dawn, and they want to make it twice as long? For all those clambering for double the Edward and Jacob, I say, “Enjoy your dull story of a pedophile werewolf and his love for an infant vampire, and please stop ruining my cinematic life.”
Twilight is actually a stop-motion animated picture.
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